Somebody Stole My Cookies
by Lucid Dreamer
Summary: Corrected edition. Someone stole Pietro's cookies. He goes on a rampage... while flirting the whole time. Please R/R. Kinda pointless, but I thought we liked that stuff?


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Somebody stole my cookies

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Summary: One of those supposedly humorous Brotherhood fics. Someone steals Pietro's cookies.

Author's notes: Um, this is rather pointless, so I tried to make it as funny as possible. Wrote this in about an hour while I took a break from my 'Flowers' sequel. I know… it sucks, but hey, what can ya do? Oh, um, this is slightly revised. Thank you so, so much Kiki for pointing out my grave error in the last paragraph.

Note 2: Uh, if any of you noticed one of my fics had suddenly disappeared: I tore it off the net. I didn't like. I think I'll just do romantic comedies right now.

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Cookies.

Ah, cookies. They were one of the most wonderful foods in the world, aside from ice cream and chocolate. And no one in the world would dare to argue with that fact. And Pietro _did_ make some of the best chocolate chip, peanut butter cookies the Brotherhood had ever tasted. If you could get him to share.

The white haired youngster grinned as the bell rang, and bee-lined toward his locker. _Cookiescookiescookies._ They gave him such a sugar high it was nearly impossible to explain to anyone who didn't already live life a gazillion times faster than everyone else. **And** had an ultra high metabolism.

His eyes opened wide, worry setting in as he spied his locker. Locked but unclosed, he gasped as he peered inside. "NOOOO!" His scream echoed through the hallway as he found his locker emptied of his precious bear-shaped jar and its small, golden brown treasures. So naturally, he did what anyone else would do. He freaked, "Someone stole my cookies!" _Ohmygod,ohm god,ohm god. Someone stole my cookies. Must. Find. Cookies._

Pietro narrowed his eyes at the two already sitting at the table. "Blob, Toad. Have you seen my cookies?"

"What?" the ever-oblivious Fred asked.

"SOMEONE STOLE MY COOKIES! Er, sorry," Pietro quieted down as Toad placed his hands over his ears. He pointed to Fred, arm vigorously shaking at him, "You! It had to be you, you eating machine. You stole my cookies! Where's my cookie jar?!"

"Who, me?"

"Yeah you!" the silver speedster seethed.

"Couldn't be."

"Then who?"

"Toad stole your cookies from the cookie jar." He leaned over, whispering so the youngest member of the Brotherhood couldn't hear. "I saw him eating one before school."

"AAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Thus far, Todd Tolensky had just been watching Pietro in awe as he went through his cookie rampage. But now, he was afraid. Very, _very_ afraid. "YOU!"

Toad fell off his bench seat as he scampered back from his fast approaching, and seemingly insane friend approached.

"You little twerp! Those are **my** cookies!" In an instant, Pietro came on Todd. Grasping the front of his shirt tightly, each shake begun to get more violent as his speed picked up. "Thosearemycookiesdoyouhearme? Mineminemine!!!!!!!!"

"I-I-I-I I swear, yo. I only had one." His froglike friend soon found his head pelted with today's meatloaf special which, incidentally, was _last_ week's Sloppy Joes.

The X-Geeks, who had been laughing at the whole sight, along with many other nearby tables, soon found an irate sophomore by their side. "Cookies! You have cookies!" Before they could stop him, Pietro had taken a bite from Scott's, Rogue's, Evan's and Kurt's cookies. "Damn it! These aren't my cookies!"

"Chill out, Pietro. Vhat's the big deal? Zey're only cookies." Pietro answered Kurt by dumping everyone's soda on his head, soaking everything from his brown cargos to his blue fur. And he threw Evan into a trashcan butt first for good measure.

"Uhh, guys? A little help here!" Evan called out to Scott and Rogue, who were seemingly unable, as they rolled on the floor, laughing at his and Kurt's misfortune.

Unfortunately for Duncan Matthews, who Pietro most decidedly **_did not_** like, he had expressed his mirth while one of Bayville High's biggest troublemakers harassed Scott and his friends.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" He turned towards Jean and smiled, "You better cover your eyes beautiful."

Oddly enough, she did as Pietro instructed, placing her hand over her eyes and closed off Duncan's only line of defense. Apparently, the fact that he was bigger, stronger and older than Pietro mattered little to the youngster.

Within a minute, along with a little help from his super speed, Pietro had taken Duncan's shoes, belt, pants and letterman's jacket. The redhead giggled as she peered through her fingers.

"Jean! This isn't funny!"

"Oh yes it is." She dissolved into her laughter, along with the rest of the cafeteria, as the blond jock stood in nothing but a white shirt and a **_pink_** pair of boxers.

Jean shivered slightly as the school's most arrogant, egotistical, annoying… _not to mention best looking… hey! Stop that!_ best looking sophomore breathed into her ear. "Red… when you finally realize how smart and gorgeous you are, and decide to dump that loser… well, just moan my name and I'll come running for you." Pietro dipped his head, languidly kissing Jean's cheek as if he had nothing else to do in the world, then down, along her throat, until his lips came to rest on her collarbone.

She closed her eyes as he whispered _delicious_ against her soft, fragrant skin. But it was soon over. Jean quickly opened her eyes to find Pietro gone, to be replaced by glares from Scott, Evan, Kurt & Duncan, not to mention a few jealous, open-mouthed stares from girls who had crushes on her 'supposed' enemy.

As Quicksilver stepped out of the building, he began to mumble to himself, wonder what exactly could have happened to his cookies. All hope seemed lost. Lost, that is, until he spotted Lance… sitting under a tree? Having lunch with Kitty?

Eh. At least he'd have more help. "LANCE!"

"Ahh!" A startled Lance Alvers nearly dropped his Jolt cola, but recovered enough to scoot over and turn around to meet Pietro, while his thigh just barely concealed a familiar, bear-shaped, yellow and red jar. "Uh… hey there Pietro. What's up?"

"Oh my god Lance, it's horrible" He cried out, as if seeking sympathy, "Someone stole my cookies! I came out of class and found out I forgot to close my locker all the way. AndthenIwentallaroundschoollookingforthepersonwhotookthem,butIdidn'tfindanything."

"Whoa! Like, slow down there Pietro. It's no problem, we still have like, some of the extra cookies that you baked for Lance."

"What?!"

Lance begun to whimper, but apparently, it went unnoticed. "We've got about half of them left, so we're happy to share." Pietro turned to Lance, his face reddening as the blood shot straight to his cheeks. Lance gulped. He knew… hell, the entire Brotherhood house knew… the extent of Pietro's wrath if he got mad enough, and focused enough. Which definitely happened when you stole his cookies. "I gotta admit Quicksie, they were soooooo yummy!"

Pietro Maximoff's face softened slightly as he gaze drifted back to the jubilant smile of Kitty Pride. Her eyes shone as he looked down on her. "Really? Well, it's not like I didn't already know that. But, uh, really? You think so?" 

"Oh yeah. They were like, amazing. I didn't know you were such a good cook. I know we're supposed to be like, enemies, and like, stuff. But could you make me a batch sometime?" He sighed at her, almost as if he would say no. Kitty looked up to him with hopeful eyes as she leaned forward to him, shins flat against the grass. "You're not going to make me beg are you?"

He smiled at her, "Aww. No way, Kitty Kat. Just lemme take care of something first, then I'll join you for lunch."

Lance's eyes widened as his best friend shot at him, dragging him from his spot on the ground at a speed his sight could even dare compete with. As soon as his vision caught up with his location, he found himself stuffed into a long gym locker. "Come Pietro, let me out! I promise, I'll never try and eat your cookies ever again."

"You liar, that's what you said last time."

"But this time, I mean it." His words fell on deaf ears, Pietro was gone.

It had been fifteen seconds since Lance and Pietro disappeared when Kitty felt a body press against her back, hands circling her waist as a soft strand of hair brushed against her cheek. She closed her eyes for a second and inhaled, _Mmm. Smells like Hawaiian ginger._ "Hi."

Bayville's fastest, cutest, most egotistical sophomore dropped his cheek to Kitty's shoulder and stared at her. "Miss me dear?"

She giggled in reply. "_Mmmhmm."_

"Good." Pietro grinned for a moment, just before nuzzling his face against Kitty's neck. Her hair fell against his face as she leaned against him, breath held to keep from sighing out as the boy slowly kissed his way to her ear. "I missed you too."

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Oh, naughty naughty. You didn't really think I'd go further, do you? Use your imagination. Hell write a sequel if you'd like. **But tell me!** I'd like to read it.


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